Today is the day after Halloween, otherwise known as
Samhain in the Pagan Celtic religion or
Dias de los Muertos in Mexico. Although both holidays have very different traditions that go along with them, both surround the idea that today there is a thin veil between the living and the dead. To me, this day means one thing; all Halloween candy is 50% off.
But instead of running out to go find great deals on Halloween candy and maybe even some Pumpkin Spice candles, I had other things to deal with. Like, getting Medicaid. Today I once again headed down to the welfare office to see if my status had changed from temporary to permanent and to see if they would cover some previous medical bills. I was basically told that my application was sitting on some person's desk to be reviewed by other people...etc etc. Great. 6 weeks until my due date and I am not even sure if I will be covered by Medicaid. If they had only covered me earlier I would be having my baby at a birthing center or at home and they could have saved a few thousand dollars. But instead, at the last minute, I am basically being forced to have a traditional hospital birth. The cool thing is I will have my baby in the same hospital I and my boyfriend we're born in. It's also a very nice hospital, they accomodate both partners and have a comfortable long-term stay area, if that's necessary. But the downside is I won't have as much control over my labor and delivery.
After that, I went to consignment shop and got some more clothes for the baby. I found OshKosh, Gap and Old Navy overalls for only 5 bucks each and also two sweaters.
Today was also filled with lots of worry and concern. Yesterday I was told at my doctor's appointment that I had stopped growing lengthwise, so I'm getting another ultrasound Monday. The odd thing is that since my last appointment I have gained several pounds, I have finally gotten stretch marks and have started to take prenatal vitamins and more iron which I wasn't taking before. Baby's heart-rate was also 5pt lower then before, still with-in normal range, but I'm still concerned. What if my placenta is no longer working? What if my baby ends up being underweight...and most importantly, what have I started doing wrong?
I'm also worried that the baby is breech and I will have to get a C-section. I'm not so worried about getting cut open, but I don't like the idea of having to get an epidural. Some women can actually still feel pain while on one, while others get seizures, headaches and shakes. I know most women think epidurals are some great revolution in medical care, but honestly, I'd rather just go through the pain of a vaginal delivery then to have to be concerned about possible side effects. Maybe I'll feel different when I feel my first contraction, but for right now I really want a natural, surgery free birth.
Current Mood:
distressed